Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Pray! No More.

When I opened the envelope a check fell out. The letter said it was the subscription money I had recently sent for the renewal of Pray!, a magazine I have been reading with such appreciation for several years. It was a spring of ideas. I have used many of them in the ministry here. It was a source of inspiration for me in my personal prayer life. Of course, what stopped the printing press was the economy. And while, I knew it was a wasted effort, I called the toll free number to speak a word of appreciation and disappointment. As I said to the woman on the phone, "I would have been glad to pay more for my subscription." But, it was a case of "too little, too late." Another ministry is buried by a faltering economy. Pray! was not the first ministry to suffer such a fate. I suspect it will not be the last.
The returned check caused me to think about my own giving and the way it gives support to God's work in the world. I am realizing that a struggling economy may be God's call for me to give more, not less. There is important spiritual work in jeopardy. If I can still afford to eat out, or feed a dog, then I am still able to give more. But, I suppose the real issue which I keep running into is as I think about all this is the old issue of trust.
A few nights ago while channel surfing, I saw an old movie about Abraham. The scene which was unfolding was the moment when his son was waiting on his father's hand to fall with the knife (Genesis 22) and as I watched I heard the question in my heart, "How much am I willing to trust God?" Will my trust in God enable me to give more when the economy is shouting out a message about such an act being foolish? Is what God doing in the world really so important to me that I will dare to live with greater trust instead of greater fear?

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