Starting Over

Starting over is never easy, but is always necessary.  We do not always see the starting over moments as transition moments from where we where to where we are going.  If we do see, we often push back against them trying to hold to what is behind instead of letting go so we can move into the future that is unfolding.  It is also true that our fear of what is out there just beyond what we can see causes us to ignore the reality of a starting over moment pressing down upon us.  We often only see starting over moments in the big changes of our life which send it spiraling down a road not anticipated and miss them in the daily ordinary moments which may be pulling us away from the past even before we are able to see them.  

When Saul was holding the coats of the stone throwers who were killing Stephen, something was taking place in his life which he could not see and if he could have seen it, he would have fought it tooth and nail.  It was only on the road to Damascus that the starting over moment begun with the stoning of Stephen became so visible to him that he was blinded by it.  At the moment of the blinding light, Saul probably did not think of what was happening as a moment of starting over, nor did he likely connect it to the seed planted as he held the coats of murderers of Stephen.    

It should not surprise us that God works in such a way in our lives.  In the most unpredictable and surprising ways, He brings into visibility a new reality which He had been unfolding in our presence for a long time.  We simply did not want to see the new thing God was doing in our life because we were so comfortable with what He had been doing.  When we find ourselves grieving over some ending and lamenting the changes it seems to be pushing heavy upon us, it may be a moment for pausing, looking for the wind of the Spirit that is pushing us away from where we were to where we are still to go, and then, going with it.