My Soul Seeks in the Night

 In the darkness of the night

    my soul seeks to see the One

      Who cannot be seen and

        Whose voice speaks; yet,

          is one that cannot be heard.

Still my soul seeks Him in the night.  

 

Is it the darkness which hides His face?

   No, He is not One who can be hidden

     by any darkness, or power, or foe.

       It is own choosing, this not seeing,

         Neither this darkness, nor a lack of faith.

So my soul seeks Him in the night.

 

In the darkness my soul seeks the unseen,

   the One seen as a thousand faces:

     Brilliant red sunsets, ivory white moon rises,

       growing hay fields, red cows awaiting,

         roaring crashing waves, whispering wind.

My soul knows the One it seeks in the night.

 

In the darkness my soul waits and watches

    not knowing everything, but sure of one,

      the One unseen is coming.  He is near.

        Always it has been such in the darkness,

          and the present darkness shall not prevail.

My soul waits for the Living God who comes.

          

Grateful

One of the things I have learned along the way is to live with gratitude.  The Apostle Paul wrote, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians 16-18).  Rejoicing and praying is easy compared to the admonition of giving thanks.  While I have not reached the level of Paul, I am further along the way than I used to be.  Keeping a Prayer Journal taught me that in the darkest of times, there are things for which to be thankful.  This is not a Pollyanna approach to life, but one filled with realism.   

All of us have been through some very dark and hard moments in our life.  In those moments being grateful may be difficult.  In such moments we might imagine ourselves standing at the edge of the darkness.  At the edge of our darkness we can see the people who are encouraging us, the people who are praying for us, the care being given to us, and the awareness that we have not been forgotten by God.  As we start at the edge of the darkness, we can slowly move into it still mindful of the things and the people for which we can be grateful.    

Maybe this discipline or practice does not work for everyone, but it has enabled me to be grateful in circumstances which could have caused anger or bitterness.  One thing is certain.  Life is lived better when we look at every circumstance through the lens of gratitude.  And remember, too, "this is the will of God."

A Shimmering Word

Years ago I became acquainted with Esther da Waal,  a writer who introduced me to the stream of Celtic spirituality.  A word she often used was "shimmering."  As an example, she would talk about walking with a camera on a walk.  Her suggestion was to walk with no intentions of taking a picture of some particular thing, but to see what called for your attention, or as she put it, "shimmered."  A few days ago while looking to read a particular passage in I John, another one I had no intention of reading grabbed my attention.  It shimmered.   

The passage was I John 5:14-15.  Reading it was like walking up three steps with each one containing a truth that led to the next one.  The first step is "And this is the boldness we have in Him..."  Here is a word which calls us to come before Him boldly and without a spirit of timidity and fear.  Come before Him without doubt is what is being suggested.  Step two then says, "that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us..."  Our prayers are not simply cast into the wind to go haphazardly into who knows where.  When we pray according to His heart, we can be assured our prayers are heard.  

The final step is the one that is so amazing, our minds have trouble taking hold of it.  "And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the request made of Him."  Here is a word which tells us our prayers are not filed away, left in some heavenly drop box, but are heard by Him.  And if heard by Him, we can turn our head toward heaven as we wait for what in inside His will to come in an overflowing and abundant manner into our life.  It truly is a word which shimmers!

The Bold Prayers

So often the deepest and most desperate prayers of the heart are more half-hearted than bold.  Our praying often sounds more like, "God, You wouldn't want to bless me, would You?" or, "I know this sounds impossible, but I thought I would ask it of You just in case."  This is not the prayer of faith, but the prayer of doubt.  James wrote about such praying in the early part of his letter to the church:  "But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord." (James 1:6-8).   

Too many times we have come before the Lord with our petitions in hand not really expecting our prayers to make any difference.  It is as if they are thrown into a wind that blows them back in our face instead of toward the throne of grace.  Over and over the Scripture tells us to pray with faith.  Again and again the Word calls us to pray with boldness.  Perhaps, the first prayer we must pray in the face of what seems impossible is to ask God to deliver us from a spirit of timidity and fear.   

Anyone who takes prayer seriously certainly understands that the prayer room is shrouded in divine mystery.  We are told by the Word that it has great power, but we do not always see it.  Once our prayers are spoken with faith into the ear of God, they become as building blocks useful to Him for the work of His will.  How it all works we may never know in this life, but He knows and that is enough.

A Fallen Sparrow

One of the things which frightens us in our spiritual journey are the those moments when our encounter with God seems to refute what we have learned to believe about Him.  Byron Herbert Reece was an Appalachian poet of north Georgia whose legacy still lingers heavy in the valleys and hills he called home.  One of his poems is about that passage of Scripture which speaks of God's protective eye being on the sparrow.  The poem begins with the words, "I saw a fallen sparrow..."  As the poet wrote lines wondering how it happened, he ends with the words, 'I had no means to know; But this I minded well: Whose eye was on the sparrow Shifted,--and it fell."     

What do we do with a healing God who does not heal?  How do we relate to a caring God who allows my child to die?  How do we relate to a God who supposedly watches over the sparrow; yet, who lets him fall?  If our questions about faith are easily answered, it is likely that we have not been asking the right questions.  With his poem Reece pondered what seemed as mystery to Him.  If we read the gospel as a book of answers for life, we will likely be disappointed in the end.  What the gospel reveals is not answers, but an open door into the mystery where God can be encountered.  

Mystery abounds.  How can it be that a person who dies shall live again?  How is it that God became flesh?  How is it that the cross has the power to transform life and bring into the creation a new order?  As Reece saw the sparrow, he pondered what cannot be understood.  Dare we do the same?

Its Own Legs

When I was a child I got hooked on reading the Bible by reading the stories of the Old Testament.  While I am not sure fascinated is the right word to use for a young reader, I found myself reading those stories in Genesis and Exodus over and over again.  As my reading expanded, I found other great Old Testament stories as well as those of the gospel.  Back in my preaching days, I occasionally used the narrative of a Biblically based created story as a substitute for a Sunday sermon.  When I did, I avoided making sure everyone got the point of the story out of a belief that a good story stands on its own legs.   

Later it would come to me that the many stories of the Bible were connected by a common thread.  Collectively, they are all a part of the story God wrote with the people He brought into being.  It is not just a story of a big boat and a flood, a young boy killing a giant, or a king losing sight of his purpose, but the story of God at work among us.  Thus, the story is still being written.  When Jesus, the Son of God, came as the Incarnate One of God into Bethlehem, the story took on a new dimension.  

It became a story not just being written with the external actions of men and women, but a story told which recorded the way life is transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.  It became not just a story of deeds done; it became a story of a heart wrapping its arms around the world.  The story of the gospel is not just the story of mighty deeds of wise people.  It is the story of overcoming love.  It is a story which stands on its own legs.

His Plans

We talk much about the fact that God has a plan for each of us.  Jeremiah 29:11 is an oft quoted verse in these days.  "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope."  It is a Word from God which is not only a word of encouragement, but a promise.  It is also a word which requires a radical kind of faith which speaks of abandoning self for the plan of God.  The truth is His plans are not always our plans because they are not in line with the plans we have made for ourselves.  

One thing learned about the plan of God over the decades of walking with Him is that there is nothing predictable about His ways.  The way He leads is not a straight path, but one that has many surprising and unexpected twists and turns.  To abandon ourselves to His plans and His future is to be willing to live as a risk taker.  Experience has taught us that when God leads us into the future He is unfolding before us, it often means that He is going to lead us away from where we feel in control of our life to the place where  life can only be lived if He is given control.  

This is the world where "the plans I  have for you..." become visible to us.  It is, therefore, not the world of the known, but the world of faith.  The question is not the one which asks if God really does have a plan for us. The Word of God is dependable and trustworthy.  The real question is do we have the faith to walk with Him into that unknown and still not yet see plan.