A Hard Discipline

One of the Lenten disciplines is self-examination.  It is a spiritual discipline which requires a different kind of effort than reading the Scripture or praying.  Both of these have a degree of specificity about them that is both visible and measurable.  It could be said that such disciplines are external while the discipline of self-examination is definitely a work with the internal and invisible part of us.  It is also a more subjective spiritual discipline than some.    

What might make it an easy thing would be to think that self-examination requires no more than measuring the external dimensions of our spiritual life.  For example, does spiritual discipline point us toward measuring how many chapters of Scripture we are reading this year as compared to a year ago, or is it about looking at the calendar and counting up the number of Sundays we are worshiping compared to the last Lenten season?  This may be valid concerns, but the to enter into self-examination certainly requires walking in deeper water.  To this day the preachers after the discipline of John Wesley are asked at ordination, "Are you going on toward perfection?  A similar kind of question might be framed with the question, "Am I still confessing the same sins that I have always confessed?  Others might be, "How am I experiencing God differently now?" or "How is that I am hearing God speak to me and what I am doing about what I am hearing?   

There are no prescribed questions which fit each one of us, but each one of us knows where it is that our heart still has too many rough edges.  We also know where it is that we find ourselves confessing, "I know what to do.  I know the right thing, but I am just not ready to do it yet.  Why is this true?  Self examination is a hard one.  It may even require the help of some trusted friend who can listen and speak truth to us.  It is always true that these spiritual disciplines which cause us to do serious heart work are the toughest and many would rather find an easier way.