Abandonment

Some things about the past I hardly remember. Other things are like they were poured in concrete never to be forgotten.  My early response to preaching about sanctification as a reality to be experienced in our spiritual life is one of those poured in concrete memories.  I was a student at Asbury College and I wanted no part of it.  I had been a Christian for a few years which was long enough for me to get comfortable.  However, midst the comfort zone I had created, there was a growing dissatifaction with the inconsitency of my spiritual journey.  While I could not speak of it as such at the time, there was a spiritual struggle taking place in my life which would finally bring me to the place of realizing that what I could do paled in comparison to what the Holy Spirit could do if only He were allowed.

 

The old timers would call that inner spiritual struggle a second crisis experience. I had started the journey of faith, but was depending not on the Holy Spirit, but upon myself.  It was a formula for frustration and failure.  I have sinced heard many others speak of coming to that moment of crisis when a choice had to be made between ego and the Holy Spirit.  It is always a frightening thing to give up the control of our life.  When we do choose to live in such a way, we are constantly tempted to grab it back.  Yet, this is exactly where God desires for us to go.  His desire for us is to be Holy Spirit possessed so that it is no longer about me, but about Him.

 

In the beginning of my journey with Jesus, I mapped out what I wanted to happen. My plans became set in stone.  To respond to God's call to allow the Spirit to possess us completely is to turn loose of the controls and abandon the carefully planned agenda.  What is frightening to consider is actually the way where the joy of the journey can be experienced and the peace that passes understanding is finally known.