A Surrendered Heart

It has been over 56 years since that day I knelt at an altar during the Asbury Revival of 1970.  I had been a believer about four years, but the fervent faith of the beginning had turned into confusion and cynicism.  In my heart I knew there had to be something more to following Jesus than I was experiencing.  I also knew that if what I was experiencing was as good as it could be, it really was not worth having.  When I went to the altar that Tuesday afternoon, I went with a desperate spirit, a hungry heart, and a frail faith that led me to search for something more.   

For the two years I had been at Asbury College, I had heard sermon after sermon that called for holiness of heart.  Frankly, the word holiness scared me to death.  As preachers through those two years droned on and on about sanctification and the work of the Holy Spirit, I turned a deaf ear.  I wanted no part of what they were "selling" as my cynical spirit called it.  For some reason which can only be accounted to the grace of God, the Holy Spirit broke through the hard shell I had built around my heart.  In a moment of clarity, I understood that the Spirit was calling me to the life of a surrendered heart.  

There at the altar on my knees, it became clear that what God wanted was not a pledge to change the world, but a heart surrendered to His will.  He did not want a heart filled with what I wanted, but a heart that desired to be filled with what He desired for my life.  I knew He was calling me to a faith that was unconditional.  I knew that the day I accepted Christ and said "yes" to a call to preach had brought me to this moment of spiritual preparation.  A heart and will surrendered completely to Him was what He wanted from me in order to be the servant He had called me to be.  I have always been amazed that He saw me as being useful to His Kingdom's work and I have also always been amazed that a moment of entering into the surrendered life made all the difference in the life I have lived and the ministry He entrusted to me.