The Chief Regret

One ot the benefits of living long enough to be a worn out Methodist preacher is time for looking back at the many years which are a part of memory.  There are many good memories.  Most of the good memories are centered around experiencing grace, being able to stand alongside of others as a pastor, and being privileged to always have a pulpit from which to preach the gospel.  Even as I am grateful for these memories that bring blessing, there are others which cause me to think about ministry in terms of what I would have done differently had I known then what I know now.   

One of the chief regrets about my years of ministry is that I did not spend more time intentionally being in His presence.  If I could do it over, I would spend more time on my knees.  I would choose to block out time to listen for God in the silence even as I had time blocked out for sermon preparation or meetings.  I would, of course, first had to learn how to be silent and to be in the silence that becomes filled with the holy.  I would be more intent about being available to God even it meant not being available for every phone call or coffee conversation about the business of the church.   

E.M. Bounds, a great prayer warrior from another generation, said and wrote many times that the source of the preacher's life is prayer. If I were doing it over again, I would take what I knew in my head and be more intentional about giving it flesh in my life.  Everything a preacher does emanates from the prayer room.  I would spend more time with the Source which, of course, this retired preacher and anyone else, preacher or not, can choose to do in the present moment God is giving.