Self Denial

When Jesus said to those who would follow him, ""If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23), He spoke a hard word.  Anyone like me who has been to church for a life time has heard these words at least a few times.  Then again, sometimes I wonder if a life timer such as myself has ever really heard it at all.  Hearing the words is easy compared to allowing our spirit to soak in the word until repentance begins to undo the heart.  

What has always been easy to do with the words of Jesus is to dilute them of their power, to allow our need for rationalization and compromise to altar the radical intention of His words, and to be content with whatever superficial sacrifices we have made and are prepared to make.  I would rather applaud myself on giving a tithe and maybe even more than to consider how much I keep for myself.  I hear the word about denying self while I cling to nurturing hurts and placing blame rather than embracing the hard work of forgiveness and unconditional love.  When our soul is allowed to soak in this hard word of Jesus, we began to see anew that the really hard things to let go are not the things accumulated in our hands, but the attitudes of the heart that give life to division and brokenness.  

This word of Jesus will not even allow me to cling to my self imposed righteousness which assures me that my understanding of what it means to live as a faithful disciple of Jesus is more pleasing to Him than the understanding of my neighbor who has obviously been led astray.  It often seems that what Jesus is calling us to do with this word about self denial is to come to Him with nothing.  Just maybe all He really wants of us is our self, not our stuff and not our opinions.