Doing and Being

Before I retired, my reading list was full of what I have come to call "To Do" books.  Those were the books that gave me instructions on how to do ministry, how to preach, or how to pray.  To some degree those days were filled with active books which created some kind of movement or change in my lifestyle.  After retirement, I discovered a different life unfolding.  It was a slower one.  It was more deliberate.  I found myself moving from the "how to" books to the" being" books.  

The being books did not give me instructions about how to be, but instead called me to understand that I did not have to try pushing the river in the direction I wanted it to go.  All I need to do is to be in the river and let its movement and flow give direction to my life.  Retirement has brought me to a new understanding of that word of Jesus about letting go.  It is not the things of our life that we must forsake, but the lifestyle which gives our life direction.  We try to push the river and to control its flow with our lifestyle, with our need for accumulation and power, and with our attempts to care for our ego.  

This is the issue the rich young man faced in his conversation with Jesus.  When Jesus told him to "go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor...then come, follow me..." (Matthew 19:21),  Jesus was talking about turning loose of more than just his things, but making a radical change in his lifestyle.  To heed the words of Jesus would have required him to give up the business of doing all the things he was doing to control his life so that the life God intended for him could unfold before him.  For a moment Jesus enabled him to see how such a life looked and when he saw it, he walked away because what he thought he held had to great a hold on him.