Thursday, March 29, 2012

A Conversation

The other night I was out taking care of some end of the day chores and enjoying those moments between the disappearance of the sun and the falling of the darkness. It has come to be a favorite time of the day. As I stood there in the still quietness, I had this conversation with myself. Do you ever have conversations with yourself? I hope so since I hope I am not the only one! I heard myself saying, "Just think of all those evenings you missed. Evening after evening you went into the church building for a meeting while it was still day and came out to find complete darkness. You missed out on so many evenings like this because of your work. There was always work to do and not enough time."
And then, I heard another part of the same self responding. "No, you got it wrong. There was enough time. Every day you have lived had such evenings. It is not about not having enough time. It never was. It is about choices. You chose something else." Sometimes I do not like these conversations with myself.
I was aware in the aftermath of the personal conversation how much I am stuck on that verse about "...making the most of the time." I know I stayed busy while working all those years, but lately I find myself wondering if I really made the most of the time given to me by the Creator. I am not so sure staying busy qualifies as a "Yes."

1 comment:

Nancy said...

Assuming your "making the most of time" passage is the one that says, "teach me to number my days." If so, that's the one I say every morning as I move the black strip on my magnetic calendar. TIME is what my whole theme of Lent has been about.

I'm sure we all have regrets such as yours. I know I do. But then there's grace...