Just Personal Stuff

I read a lot.  Always have.  Since the days my mother took me to the public library for a children's summer reading program, I have been reading.  Some kids looked forward to the ice cream truck driving into the neighborhood and I was one of them, but I also loved to see the bookmobile coming down the street.  The ice cream truck cost money which I did not always have.  The bookmobile was a free treat!  I not only read a lot, but I often read a good book more than once which explains why I am reading once again a book by Richard Rohr entitled, "Falling Upward."   

 Rohr is not only a writer, but a Franciscan priest.  As I was reading I came across these words which I had underlined the first time. "Thomas Merton, the American monk, pointed out that we may spend our whole life climbing the ladder of success, only to find out when we get to the top that our ladder is leaning against the wrong wall."  When I read these words I did not say "Amen," but "Ouch!"  I know a number of folks who have made it to the place in life that I have arrived and look back with the realization that their ladder was against the wrong wall.  Too many of us put our ladder on the wall of getting ahead, or self aggrandizement, or maybe doing what is expected instead of what the heart is calling us to do.    

In moments of personal reflection I often wonder if I did not start out ministry serving the Christ, but somewhere along the way started serving the church.  I wonder sometimes if my ladder was not leaned up against the wall of helping the institutional church survive rather than against the wall of being willing to lose all in order to serve the Christ.  Just my personal stuff, but then we all have our own stuff, our own ladders, and our own walls.  Writers and thinkers like Richard Rohr are not necessarily enjoyable to read, but they certainly keep us honest with ourselves.