The Minutia

The one thing we will never know how to wear are the shoes that belong to someone else.  We may think that one size fits all.  We may think that having experienced loss, we can understand the loss of another.  There may be similarities between our experience and the experience of another, but the differences are always found in the minutia.  The minutia is where the real pain dwells.  The minutia is where life is lived and the minutia is where the memories are stored.  It is what makes the shoe fit differently even though it looks exactly like one we ourselves recently wore.   

Compassion does not require perfect understanding of another's plight, it only requires love and concern.  We cannot give understanding to another, but we can give compassion.   Compassion comes from our heart; if understanding comes, it comes from the mind.  When life is being turned upside down, we long for touches of the heart.  One of the most out of step words we can offer to a sufferer is to say, "I understand what you are going through."  We do not understand.  The minutia gets in the way.  I remember a friend who called in a very difficult hour only to say at the very beginning, "I do not understand..."  He did not, but understanding was not required for me to be touched by his compassionate spirit.    

In those dark hours, it is finally enough  to know that God understands and that He is with us.  What cannot be known by those who love us is known by Him.  Words from the Scripture declare this to us   "Tho' I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."  (Psalm 23:4).  "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in Your bottle.  Are they not in Your record?"  (Psalm 56:8).  God is the One who understands and He is the One who is always alongside of us.