Pasture to Freezer

When we came to the farm a little more than ten years ago, having a few cows was a part of the plan.  For a number of reasons being able to eat homegrown, grass fed beef seemed like a good idea.  Each time one of those cows that grazed in the pasture goes in the freezer, it creates a greater sense of respect for the cost of the food which comes to our table.  As the years have slipped by and several steers have become part of our daily bread, eating has become a sacred thing not to be done hurriedly, but slowly and with profound appreciation.  Throwing away what is leftover is unthinkable.  Every morsel requires respect.     

The vast majority of folks cannot live in a close relationship to the food being eaten.  A culture that was once more agrarian has now become mostly urban and pastures where cows graze seems like another world.  And, of course, our fast food meals eaten while we are on the way somewhere does little to connect us to an important part of the Creation and an awareness that what we eat is a precious gift which costs much sweat for workers and sometimes life itself for the animals which sustain us.  

When Jesus taught us to pray about our daily bread, He was surely reminding us that what we eat is not to be taken for granted.  His Words also speak to us about the source of what it is that gives us life.  Our life is dependent on the provision He provides for us through the life giving earth and all that is a part of its order. What sustains us day to day may come to us by the work of our hands, but it passes through His hands first.

A New Word

To read is to risk running into new words.  It happened again the other day as I was reading a book entitled, "Earth, the Original Monastery," by Christine Valters Paintner.   She wrote, "The word panentheism  comes from the Greek pan (everything), en (in), and theos (God).  It means 'God in all things, pervading everything we see' (this is different from pantheism, which means 'all things are God.')  While God is in all things, God is also wholly other; God is both immanent and transcendent.  Jesus' embrace of the natural world reflects this panentheistic worldview."     

While I had encountered and understood the meaning of pantheism, panentheism is a new word for something I had sensed and understood, but for which I had no word so definitive.  In these years on the farm I have come to a place of experiencing the Creation so differently than I have in years past and sometimes I wondered if, perhaps, I was going off into some deep end which was going to be the undoing of my theological foundation.     

One of the sharp difference in where I am now and where I have been is found in a growing awareness that the Creation is truly a means through which God reveals Himself as well as a means by which we are enabled to hear His Word even as we do when we read the Scripture.  It may be a step too far to take for some, but it is one I found myself taking even before a theological word came to give understanding to what had been taking place in my spiritual journey.  

The Unfolding Call

Some thing we can never really see coming.  When I started writing JourneyNotes back in 2008, I saw it as another means of staying in touch with the congregation entrusted to me.  The congregation is now hardly visible in the rear view mirror.  Back then preaching was my primary means of sharing the gospel and enabling people in their spiritual journey.  It has been almost six years now since I have stood behind the pulpit.  What could not have been figured on back in those days was the way faith speaking would become written instead of verbal.    

Life is full of changes.  It is also true that the way God makes use of us changes as well.  When I signed on for the preaching ministry as a young man, it seemed like it would be something I would do until the grave.  I have found out differently.  In these days it seems that the God who called me to preach long ago has taken me to a different place.  I find myself living in that place with no regrets and no questions about not being faithful to the call of God.    

What is discovered in all our journeys is that God is the One who is in charge.  Faithfulness to Him is the real issue.  The issue is never about doing a single thing, but simply being open to wherever and whatever He is unfolding for us in our future.  After all, the future of our lives is His just as has been all that is past and all that is present.  To live with an attitude of faithfulness to His unfolding nature is what His call is all about.  

New Companions

In the last few years some strangers have showed themselves on the journey of faith.  They go by the name of mystics and contemplatives.  Some of them are ancient from other centuries and others are more like contemporaries.  The ancient ones like the one who wrote "The Cloud of Unknowing"  have walked the road long before me and will not be seen until we gather there in the room of the heavenly throne.  And though it is unlikely, some of those who bear the imprint of these days may cross my path some day.  At times I feel their presence, but still have experienced nothing more than a sense that they are just up the road a piece.       

These new spiritual mentors are so different from the ones with whom I walked in days when being busy and racing ahead filled the view of my future.  The old mentors were more likely to be deemed successful large church leaders who were eager to tell others who were eager to hear how to do it.  There was nothing wrong with their insights and wisdom, they just kept me looking at the things of the doing lifestyle.    

These new sojourners who were once strangers have been encouraging me to slow down, to think and meditate, and more importantly to listen and pay attention to what is going on around and within me.  They are teaching me to see things I had not been seeing and to hear things I had not been listening to hear.  Most importantly, they have enabled me to know that God is not just present in certain days or certain places, but in every moment which I am blessed to know on this earth.  It is not always easy to put aside the years of my obsession with doing, but more and more these mystics and contemplatives are inviting me to look and listen and know the newness of the unfolding presence of God.  

The Soapbox

Call it my pet peeve.  Call it my soapbox.  Call it "I can't help myself."  Call it whatever you wish, but know that when I see what I saw today, I have to speak words of calm and restraint to myself.  I went into an eatery to pick up a take-out and while waiting I saw this mother and her adult daughter having a late lunch together.  The food was on the table, they were sitting across from each other, but hardly a word was spoken between them because both had their fork in one hand and their cell phone in the other.    

They might as well have been sitting at opposite ends of the eating area.  I know I ended up staring at them, but they never noticed.  I wanted to go and tell them to pay attention to one another and the moment being given to them, but I knew it would have been a waste of time.  There was something on those hand held devices more interesting and more important than what could have been taking place at their table.   

The food and all the work it had taken to get it to the table was inconsequential and was being disrespected.  The Creator who had brought them together for a moment of sharing a meal, something sacred in itself, was being disrespected as well.  The only important thing was whatever was on the screen of those cell phones.  Maybe it was important, but it is hard to imagine anything more important than a moment of sharing love for another, showing respect for the food on the table, and expressing gratitude to the Creator for the gifts that were overflowing from the table, but seemingly never seen.  

An Intimate Relationship

I have an intimate relationship with garbage.  Always have.  When I was a boy learning about becoming a man, one of my daily chores was taking out the household garbage after supper.  It must have been a job fit to enhance masculinity since I cannot remember my sister being able to take a turn.  As a father of two daughters, there was, therefore, no one to take out the trash but me, so I continued.  It is a daily chore still done even in these years of retirement.    

However, there is one big difference in handling garbage in suburbia where there is curbside garbage pickup.  Out here in the country I take it out of the house to a collection point here on the farm and then once a week transport it to the nearby recycling center where I get to handle it a second time.  Living on a farm means no curbside pickup; instead, it is twice pickup.    One other thing different about now and back then is the garbage.  Growing up food came more directly from the garden, the pantry where summer canning was stored, or the chicken yard, the hog pen, or the cow lot.  The packaging was more like hulls for peas and shucks for corn.  

Today's lunch came in a plastic throw away bowl packaged in a square cardboard box which means there was a lot more to take to the trash can.  Every trip to take out the garbage reminds me of how we live in a throwaway culture that is accumulating a ton of waste outside our doors.  It causes some thoughts some days about the way I am a part of this society which seems to take for granted daily bread and gets careless about the ecological cost of getting it to the table.  I wonder if this is all a part of God's plan, or ours.

Trouble and Joy

Every day is filled with its own troubles.  Jesus told us not to be surprised.  (Matthew 6:34)  For some reason most of us us have a tendency to grab hold of the troubles and exert all kinds of energy in talking about them, but hardly see that life is filled too with the things which bring joy into our lives.  Jesus also spoke about this as He said, "I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.:  (John 15:11)  Any believer in Christ who knows no joy in their daily walk might want to re-examine the connection which joins them to Him.      

Joy is not some giddy emotional feeling which creates a constant smile and an ever present belly laugh, but an attitude which enables us to live midst the troubles of today with a spirit of gratitude.  Where there is no joy, there is no gratitude for gratitude is one of the fruits of joy.  It is a hard thing for some to fathom, but the reality which Christ puts into our heart is one which points to good always triumphing over evil and dancing always taking the place of mourning.      

The Psalmist put it all together in such wonderful form when he said, "Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning."  (Psalm 30:5)  It is a Word which we sometimes forget when the night seems unbearably long, but one we have learned through the crucible of our human experience to be true.  Two images which are rising before us in these days have proclaimed this Word through the generations.  As horrible as was the cross, so was the empty tomb more glorious.  And so it is with all of us as we go through today's troubles toward tomorrow's joys.  

The Season of Contentment

The road I walk now in this journey of faith takes me through seasons that are closer to the end of all my earthly seasons than any time I have ever known.  It is a season of more self-awareness, a greater need to pay attention, and a heightened sense that God is present in every moment as well as in everything.  Most of my life I have lived in such a hurry to get somewhere other than the present moment and place that it would have been impossible to drink from the water provided in this later season even if it had offered.  I was simply too busy wanting other things to want the gifts of this season so close to the end of all earthly seasons.     

Like the many, we live with an eye on tomorrow which creates such loss and waste in our life.  More and more am I being drawn to those words from the Word in which the Apostle Paul said of himself, "I have learned to be content with whatever I have..."  (Philippians 4:11).  Life is diminished and sometimes destroyed by our inability to live inside a spirit of contentment.  Without contentment we are constantly looking ahead, distracted by what is around us, and vulnerable to a greed which seeks to take what has not been given.      

This lack of personal contentment is at the core of all that might be characterized as the sin in our life.  The names of our failures, the names of the problems of others at which we are quick to point a finger, and the names of the sharp shards of brokenness upon which we daily walk may give names to the sin within us, but they are only the symptoms of this loss of a contented core.  To lose sight of the contented core means we have lost sight of God and His commitment to provide for us according to our needs in all the different seasons He gives to us.     

What is not Known

 A few mornings ago I ran into some words from Oswald Chambers that brought me to a stop.  From "My Utmost for His Highest," he said, "Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.  It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us 'go.' "  In the moment of the reading it seemed that I had found a word which expressed what I had been trying to articulate for days.     

In the earlier days of my walk with Jesus, I saw myself as one who had an idea of where the journey was going to take me, but now in this season which is coming more toward the other end of my living, I realize how little I knew and how much there is to know.   While it may seem to us in the beginning that our journey of faith is filled with things which speak of our plans, it truly is more accurate to say that the journey of faith simply is constantly unfolding into the future God is giving us.   

As it is with you, so is it with me.  There are things about my present moment with the One who has called me to Himself that I could not have imagined.  Things which seemed so permanent have been taken away and things never anticipated have been given.  Looking back enables me to see it has never been a straight line journey, but one filled with twisting turns which kept me from seeing and knowing what was ahead.  Chambers nailed it when he said, "Faith never knows where it is being led..."  So it was with Abraham and all of the rest of us who have walked the road he walked.  

Helpers Along the Way

I cannot begin to speak enough words of gratitude for the people from my past who encouraged me to live mine.  Like so many others my parents and extended family members stand first in this line of helpers.  Some of those who influenced my life I never personally encountered; instead, they were those whose stories touched me from the pages of books I read.  And as I began the process of venturing out from the safe shelter of home, a host of others came into my life as helpers and encouragers.    

So many of these were men and women of faith in Christ.  If the influence of people of faith were suddenly removed from my life, it is likely that my life would unravel and end up on the floor like a wad of tangled threads.  I remember a high school English teacher who pushed me into disciplines that would serve as the foundation for most everything I did as a preacher and pastor.  I remember others who dared to speak words of compassion when I fell on my face and helped me see the way forward.  To look back is to see a sea of faithful souls who offered prayers for me over the many seasons of my life.    

If paying things forward is the only way to honor these who have honored me by the investment of their life and energy in me, then I still have much to do.  I look back over the years with gratitude that I have been privileged to stand alongside of some who have shared the road of the journey with me and my prayer is that they might remember me as I have remembered helpers from my past.  One of the things of which I am sure is that even as God has placed helpers in my life along the way, He has surely placed me as a helper in the lives of others who are walking the road behind me.  I have not always been faithful to see them and to offer the words God would have given me to say had I been listening, but in those cases where I have been useful to God to help another, I am deeply grateful.  

Books

As a child I not only learned to read, but learned to love reading.  My mother was mostly responsible for placing me midst books and encouraging me to read.  Trips to the library and the arrival of the bookmobile were much anticipated things.  As I look back I remember being inspired by some of the people I met through the pages of books.  One of the first who left a lasting impression was Albert Schweitzer.  He was a man who wore many hats, but the one which inspired me the most was the one he wore as a missionary doctor to Africa.    

Through the years there have been many others whom I have met through reading which opened my life up to the way God calls to live a life that makes a difference for the Kingdom of God.  John Wesley, E. Stanley Jones, Oswald Chambers and Charles Spurgeon were others whose witness transcended their times and reached into mine.  I am grateful for their stories and the way they challenge me to continue on the journey of faith.   

But, even before I found the library and its books, I was given a Bible filled with heroic struggles of faith by people whose lives have blessed generations of believers.  The patriarchs of Genesis, the kings and prophets of Israel, and the men and women of the New Testament became a part of my life long before I understood fully that there was more than just a story on the pages in front of me.  Unlike all the books I have read, this one known as holy scripture is divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit and has on so many occasions re-directed my life and given it meaning and purpose.    

An Emphatic Refusal

Not everyone is excited about a moment of being called by God.  Actually, most folks do their best to slip out from under the Word which they sense being put upon them.  The reason is obvious.  Accepting the call of God means a change in life style.  It means turning lose of what gives life comfort and embracing a world where a loss of control is the norm.  It is no wonder that people like Moses and each one of us have no trouble finding excuses for making another choice.     

One fellow who was very emphatic in his refusal to accept God's call was Jonah.  His story is all but hidden in the midst of the Old Testament, but still it is one learned early on by children in Sunday School.  The narrative begins with the words, "Now the Word of the Lord came to Jonah....saying, 'Go at once to Nineveh...' "  (Jonah 1:1)  The call would send Jonah east on an overland trip to Nineveh so Jonah got on a boat and headed west for Tarshish.  Jonah did not just argue with God; instead, he just intentionally refused to do God's bidding.    

After Jonah got tossed overboard by fearful sailors in the midst of a storm and spent three days and nights in the belly of a big fish, the call came again and this time Jonah was ready to go.  There have been times when our going required more than a little persuasion.  The important thing to be remembered in those moments filled with our reluctance and God's persuasion is the reality that God does not give up on us.  It is His desire for us to be involved in what He is working to accomplish in the world and the good news is that He does not give up on us.  

Know Not Where

Religious history is filled with pilgrimages.  While there have always been shrines to which people have traveled, two popular choices have always been Jerusalem and Rome.  Most people today who join tour groups going to the Holy Land think of it more as a vacation destination, but it still fits inside the definition of a pilgrimage.  Today's travelers are more about seeing the sites than going for the fulfillment of some spiritual purpose.     

One of the spiritual groups which had a different view of pilgrimage was the ancient Celtic community.  Their pilgrimages were to "know not where."  Inspired by Abraham who left what was familiar to go to "the land that I will show you"  (Genesis 12:1), the Celtic monk would get into a round boat called a coracle which had no rudder or oars and go forth to wherever the wind and current would take him.  They went seeking not a shrine, but the place of their resurrection.   

In so many ways the pilgrimages of these ancient Celtic saints models what it means to live a life surrendered to God.  Our response to the call of God in our life is usually more measured, limited, and not quite so radical as the one they made.  But, of course, responding to the call of God is not an outward journey, but an inner journey.  It is a journey of the heart.  Who among is simply willing to go to the land that He will show us, or to a life defined by "know not where?"

Living with the Calling

Sometimes when we find ourselves where we are on the journey of faith, we look around, decide that life should be better for us, and point an accusatory finger toward God.  What we experience seems like a poor reward for our faithfulness and often when we are standing surrounded by a hard place, we are quick to tell God how He could be doing better for us.  Of course, we know we are not promised a walk through a rose garden on a Sunday afternoon, but it is easy thing to forget.     

What would serve us well is to remember is that the calling of God which set us out on this journey of faith may be bringing us to moments we would not choose.  When we look at the Biblical characters such as Daniel, or Moses, or Jeremiah we see people of faith who found themselves walking into difficult places because they chose faithfulness to God.  What is always true is that God is able to bring us through any difficulty and that in the midst of any difficulty, He is working to bring good into our lives.     

The deeper we walk into the journey, the more we realize that what is ahead is not met with personal strength, human fortitude, and determined persistence, but by faith.  Faith in the One who walks ahead and alongside of us is what gives meaning to the journey.  What is ahead cannot be seen, or figured out ahead of time which makes the choice of faith the only one which really fits into what God is doing in our lives.  

The First Calling

The first calling of God is common to everyone who decides to walk that road toward the home that is being prepared for each one of us.  It is recorded in the 12th chapter of Genesis and was first directed toward a sojourner named Abram.  The first verse of that chapter says, "Now the Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you."  It is a call filled with ambiguity.  There is little that is definite except the things which must be forsaken to go.    

One of the most obvious things to be seen is that it is simply a call to go.  It is not a call to go to a specific place, but to a life that will unfold as the road is taken.  In the beginning the response is a call to go wherever and whenever the One doing the calling dictates and decides.   Clearly, "...the land that I will show you..." is not framed by our intentions, purposes, and plans.     

In the beginning when we started the journey of faith in response to this call, we had an idea about where it would take us.   Where it was going to take us was mostly determined by our understanding of the traditions of the church, the experience of others, and the spiritual environment in which our faith was born.  It was only after traveling the road for more time than we want to admit that we came to understand that the calling to follow had no destination, no conditions, and no expectations.  As we went along we came to understand what we could not grasp in the beginning which was that the journey was at its core a journey of absolute faith and a life of surrender to whatever and wherever.  

The Unfolding Call

The call of God is not always about entering a ministry of preaching, teaching, pastoral care, and serving the church.  When we read about the call of Moses we see a calling that meant becoming a leader of a nation, a call that meant entering the political arena, a calling to stand as the mouth of God in the world, and a call to actively right a terrible wrong.  If Moses even caught a glimpse of what it would mean in his life, no one should be surprised that he sought a way out from under what God was calling him to do.   

It is always a mistake to think that God only calls people to traditional looking ministries within the church which stands on the corner.  To say this is not to diminish the reality of just such a call, but simply a way of declaring that it is never wise to limit the nature of the call that is uttered from the mouth and heart of God.  Even as God looked and listened and heard the cries of the suffering Hebrews, so does He look and listen and hear the cries of those whom He loves in our own day.     

When He hears and seeks to respond, it may be in some way that is as large as the unfolding call of Moses, but it may also be a call to embrace something that is more limited, but no less important to the overall plan and purposes of God.  For God to continue in His calling work means that there are still things He is seeking to accomplish in a world that remains as out of kilter as it was in the day of Moses.  When there are things which He wants done, it is likely that someone like you and me will hear a Word from God that invites us and calls us to a moment of saying, "Here am I; send  me!"  (Isaiah 6:8) 

The Bottom of the Barrel

When we look at the calling work of God, we see that He does not hesitate to call the educated ones, men like Isaiah, Ezekiel, or Saul of Tarsus; but neither is He shy about calling ordinary common folks like two boys named David and Jeremiah and those like Peter and John who earned their living by the sweat of their brow.  His choices are not just outstanding, sometimes they are outlandish.  Some of those He calls we would never choose and some not chosen we would put at the head of the line.      

I have often looked back at that night in the Alamo parsonage when I sensed God's call to preach and thought that He must have been scraping the bottom of the barrel.  A more unsuitable candidate for preaching He could not have found.  As my seventeenth year was coming to an end, I was a shy introvert who stumbled over a sentence longer than ten words.  Talking was difficult and talking before a crowd of people was unimaginable.    

Fortunately for all of us, God sees us in ways that we cannot see ourselves.   As the Word says He sees not as those around us see.  His vision penetrates our limitations to reveal our possibilities.  His focus is not on what we want to make of ourselves, but what He knows He can make of a surrendered heart.  As Moses and Isaiah heard the divine call, we see a God who looks around, sees what He wants to accomplish, and then looks for someone who would dare be willing to say, "Here am I; send me."  (Isaiah 6:8)

The Moment of Calling

I remember the moment of calling.  It has been so long ago that the night seems like one encased in ancient times, but to remember it causes it to be as fresh as yesterday.  It was a May night in the bedroom of the Alamo Methodist parsonage in the year I was graduating from high school.  My parents and sister were going about their business on the other side of my closed door not knowing that life changing business was taking place just beyond their sight.  And they would not know for some time as it was not a moment I eagerly embraced.    

While I did not know what I was going to do in my future, I knew that the last thing I wanted to do was ministry.  For six months or so I tried to talk my way out of what I knew to be a moment of divine calling.  Like Moses I found any number of reasons why God should look elsewhere.  But, the Voice of calling persisted.  It was not a Voice I could silence.  It was as if I had been gripped by Someone who would not let me go.    Such an experience is something I would later learn I had in common with many others who had wrestled with being called by God to do something which was outside the trajectory of personal plans.  

As we read the story of Moses in those early pages of Exodus, we see a man who was content tending his father-in-law's sheep somewhere in the obscurity of the wilderness.  The last place he wanted to go was Egypt.  In Egypt he was a wanted man.  God is full of surprises as He seeks to use the unlikely ones such as us to do holy work.  Whenever God calls there are usually a hundred reasons for not accepting the call and only one reason for saying "Yes" and that reason is that it has come from God.  

In the Beginning

So many people view the Garden of Eden story as a myth, a nice story, or a way of giving an explanation for the coming into existence of what had never existed except in the mind of the Creator.  Regardless of the viewpoint embraced, the common thread is the Creator God who acted and brought what is into the realm of the visible.  There are things about those early pages of Genesis which baffle us,  challenge us to see more than what seems to be visible, and leave us with a sense of awe and wonder.    

Before the talking serpent crept in to lure the Garden of Eden couple away from life as they had always known it, it seems that what is described through the words and implied through the images created is a life filled only with the goodness of creation.  As those brought into being by a creative heavenly Father, Adam and Eve lived without the presence of sin in their lives.  Of course, the choice they made after listening to the talking serpent and the desires of their own ego changed everything.  What was filled only with goodness became compromised with evil.    

When we give consideration to the dominant theological position of the church that men and women are born inherently evil, it might be a good thing to give pause to the Garden of Eden story.  There is more written within the fabric of the story than jumping to to the conclusion that humanity is born flawed.  Like the Garden of Eden couple, we tend to make choices that point to the presence of evil lurking around us, but the reality of choosing wrong does not make what is created in the womb evil.  Surely, we bear the imprint of the Creator from our womb beginning even as Adam and Eve bore the imprint of the Creator from their dusty origin.  

Dumb as Dirt

The electric fence charger that keeps the critters out of the garden went on the fritz and needed replacing.  When I went to buy the replacement I was told by the manager, "Mr. CEO discontinued all electric fence supplies."  When I asked the rationale, I was told, "It is inhumane."  As the surprise and disbelief settled over me, I blurted out, "That is dumb as dirt!"     

After I walked out shaking my head, I found myself feeling some regret for what I had said.  I thought about going back and hunting up the manager, but decided against it.  I should not have said that dirt was dumb.  Dirt is not dumb, it is holy.  I felt like I had profaned with my language something I knew to be holy.  It was not the manager I needed to seek, but the Creator.     

I knew better.  There is nothing dumb about dirt.  It is the means by which the Creator has chosen to sustain life.   The garden which requires the electric fence is an expression of a partnership with the Creator in this creative process which He put in place in the beginning.  Every handful of the dirt around here and everywhere bears the imprint of His hand.  It is not dumb.  I was terribly wrong.  Dirt is not dumb.  It is creative.  And, it is holy.  

The Speaking Voice

When we say we never hear the voice of God it may speak more of our inability to hear than Him speaking to us.  Untrained and undisciplined ears is what so many of us wear on the side of our heads.  But, more importantly the thing which hinders the hearing the most is a heart not bent on hearing what is spoken that is not meant for the ears.  Of course, it is also true that we have not grown up in a spiritual culture which has taught us that God speaks and we can hear His voice.     

One of the Biblical stories which comes to mind as we think about a speaking God is found in I Samuel 3.  Samuel was just a boy when he went to live under the care and supervision of Eli.  The story tells of a night time moment when the Lord spoke saying, "Samuel!  Samuel!"  (I Samuel 3:4)  Three times the Voice spoke and each time Samuel took it to be the voice of Eli.  Finally, Eli realized Who was speaking and told the boy,"Go, lie down; and if He calls you, you shall say, 'Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.' "  (I Samuel 3:9)  This time when the boy went back into the darkness, he heard the Voice once more, but this time he was prepared to listen.    

Listening is mostly a lost art in our day filled with so much speaking.  The noise of all the conversations around us drown us to the point that we are dead to attentive listening.  And, even as this is true of our daily conversations with others, it is even more true when it comes to hearing the Voice of God.  It is not just in a single moment of our devotional life that God speaks, but in the every day experiences of our living.  To listen only in the quiet times is to miss out on much of what God might be saying to us.  But, as is always the case, listening is not natural for us.  It is work, requires effort, and a stilled mouth and heart.

The Unsought Questions

One of the surprising things about this season of my life is the way so many of the poured in concrete theological beliefs have been pulled loose.  In retrospect I sometimes find myself wondering if I simply left my seminary years with all the right answers to the questions being asked without considering the possibility that there were questions not asked and, therefore, answers not sought.  And, to be honest is to admit that I have not gone seeking those questions as much as they have been seeking me.      

It is surely true that a stagnant faith bent on staying exactly the way it has always been is the worst kind of theological baggage to carry with us through our spiritual journey.   The most determined antagonist of Jesus were those men of such theological certainty that there was no openness to God being about something new in the present moment of their living.  All they could see was what they had been taught to see and anything else was such a threat to their unchangeable theology that it could be neither tolerated, or considered.   

One of the most certain things that all of us experience is the change which the seasons of our life bring to us.  Of course, these seasons are not the named one on the calendar pages, but the ones which usher us into the uncharted years of our life.  In the midst of these seasons where we have not really experienced the presence of God new questions unfold in abundance and to be afraid of them speaks of a failure to trust the One who has brought us to the new place in our life.  

Holy Harbingers

I heard it said the other night that "one Robin don't make it Spring," and, perhaps, it is true.  But, what about a yard full of them?  In the places where I grew up and and in the places where I have grown old, folks always spoke of Robins as harbingers of Spring.  After the hard winter which has blown over this place in recent months, anything which might point to Spring coming is a welcomed sign.  Some people may prefer the groundhog, but a personal choice would be those red breasted Robins flitting around under the pecan trees.     

Actually, the creation is full of signs that point us toward the Creator and the way He intends for us to live.  We have gotten so busy we cannot see as well as we should, or maybe, we have just become too disconnected from the creation to hear the Voice of God speaking to us through it.   Many signs become visible in these days of living on a farm in the midst of the creation.  It is not that I have grown smarter, but that being here is like living immersed in the flow of life that is all around me.     

It has become so apparent that the creation is filled with order.  Everything seems connected in some way.  To be immersed in the creation which the Creator God has put all around us is to seek to know that order in our personal lives.  Too often we live out of sync, or out of step with the created order and when we do, life is not being lived as it was given to us to live.  Like the written Word, through the creation, the Creator speaks to those who give attention to what is being said.  

Buds and Blooms

This is the season for buds and blooms.  One of the noticeable things is that not everything follows the same schedule.  One of the peach trees has gone through the bud stage, the flowers have bloomed, and green leaves are starting to fill the tree.  Other peach trees look as barren and bleak as mid-winter.  What I almost missed today was the buds swelling on the plum tree.  A few white blooms are even showing.  It is a temptation to buy into the possibility of an early Spring.    

To walk under the limbs filled with swelling buds and flowering blooms is to be reminded of the schedule and order of creation.  Just as each tree moves toward maturity in its own time, so do each one of us in our spiritual lives.  We are not all at the same place in terms of our movement toward spiritual maturity.  Certainly spiritual maturity is the goal of every disciple of Jesus.  Jesus calls us to such as He says, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  (Matthew 5:48)   While not a Greek language scholar, the little learning I did once upon a time back in seminary days taught me that the Greek word translated into English as "perfect"  can also be rendered as "mature."     

Taking this subtlety to heart tells us that spiritual maturity could well be the goal Jesus had in mind.  And if spiritual maturity is the goal of each one of us, it only stands to reason that we are all at a different place on the journey.  There is, therefore, no room for judging others, or thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought since we are all on this journey which is taking us to toward spiritual maturity.  And, of course, it goes without saying that we are not all moving on the same schedule.   

Distractions

When Jesus arrived at certain unnamed village, the Scripture says, "...a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home."   (Luke 10:38)  It was apparently something she was not required to do, but something she chose to do.  To read other sections of Scripture is to see that there was a special relationship which existed between Jesus and Martha, Mary, and Lazarus.  On this occasion it appears that Martha welcomed Jesus, but then got so distracted with the stuff of her life that she was living as if He was not in her home.      

Before we  become too critical of Martha, we need to realize that what she did is something many of us have been guilty of doing.  How many times have we rolled out the welcome mat and then go on with our stuff as if He had not been invited into our lives?  This is not the way we treat guests in our home.  Long years ago I made a conscious decision to invite Jesus into my life, but honesty requires confessing that I have not always lived with Him in a way that would make Him feel welcomed.  

Like Martha we get distracted.  It is easy to do.  Saying it is easy does not excuse the way we sometimes relate to Jesus; instead, it is simply acknowledging what happens.  Distractions speak of misplaced priorities.  Distractions speak of a loss of attentiveness to the present.  On that night long ago, and on many other nights through the years, I said one thing about how much I desired for Jesus to abide in and with me, but surely there have been afterward moments when He must have shaken His head in disappointment.      

The Better Part

It is easy to consider that Martha might have in the beginning been sitting alongside of Mary at the feet of Jesus.  (Luke 10:38)  After the Word speaks of Mary sitting and listening at the feet of Jesus, it goes on to say, "But, Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to Him and asked, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?  Tell her then to help me.' "  (Luke 10:40)  What we know is that distractions can come even when we are sitting still and trying to listen.      

It is certainly possible that Martha started out listening, but her mind kept taking her to a listing of all the things that needed doing.  If such were the case, it is also likely that her ill feelings toward her sister had arisen long before she rose to actually get some of those things done which were keeping her from giving her attention to Jesus.  Of course, it is all just speculation born out of sitting with a  passage too long, but it does point to our own experience.   

Many of us have had those moments when our time with Jesus ended too soon because we could not maintain our focus.  In those moments our spiritual intentions got hijacked by our mind telling us there were things which needed doing.  Like Martha we have suffered from being distracted by the doing when the moment for being was fully upon us.  Hopefully, when it happens, we make a point to choose the better part.

The Unrecorded Teaching

When Jesus came to the home of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38), the two sisters went two separate ways.  Martha went to the kitchen, or to a place of providing hospitality.  Mary "...sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what He was saying."   As the story is told, Jesus applauded the response of Mary and told Martha that Mary's choice was better.  It was not that Martha was doing things that did not matter, but that she became distracted from a moment of her soul being fed and nurtured.    

One of the things we can never know about that moment has to do with the words coming forth from the mouth and heart of Jesus.  What did He say that day as Mary sat at His feet?  While we have a lot of His teaching recorded in the gospels, this moment at the home of Martha and Mary reminds us that more of His teachings are unrecorded than are recorded.  What He said in the presence of Mary was for her ears alone.  Jesus did not require a crowd to share from His heart.  One attentive listening soul was enough.     

Whenever we are tempted to think that we are such a nobody that Jesus really has nothing special to say to us, we only need to read and meditate on this story.  There are things Jesus would say that are meant for our ears, our soul, alone.  What we need to hear is not a certificate which declares our spiritual status, but a spirit that is bent toward becoming immersed in the stillness so that hearing the holy Word can be received and heard.  

Sitting and Listening

When Jesus came to the home of Martha and Mary, the Word says about Mary, "...(She) sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what He was saying..."  (Luke 10:39).   Sitting and listening speaks of how she responded to the presence of Jesus.  There is a note of intimacy in this image.  There is a picture of eagerness to know and understand.  There is a picture which defines the meaning of being a disciple.  And among other things which might be said, the image of Mary sitting and listening models a posture of prayer.     

As a boy beginning to pray, it seemed that the only posture of prayer was on bent knees at my bedside.  It was where my Mother gave me my first lessons in praying.  I well remember that bedroom in Alamo where I prayed on my knees as a boy about to become a man..  And as I grew into manhood, I put away childish things and became a more sophisticated disciple who abandoned that uncomfortable posture by praying while sitting in a comfortable chair.    

To read the account of Mary and Jesus is to see her assuming what surely would become an uncomfortable position and, of course, modeling the reality of a submissive spirit.  While it is true that the posture of prayer is not more important than the praying, it would likely serve us all well to model the sitting and listening posture.  There is something about the act of kneeling which changes the mood of our approach to prayer.  To kneel is to declare we understand we are not in charge and that our hearts are open to receive whatever it is that the One before Whom we kneel might say to us.  

Attentiveness

When Jesus showed up at the home of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38), the two sisters responded in two different ways.  Mary finds a place of single minded attentiveness to Jesus while Martha becomes so busy doing the stuff she deems necessary that Jesus is not only elsewhere in her home, but also elsewhere in her mind.  We should never decide that the things Martha did were unimportant things.  But, those things were her things.  They were the things birthed from her own ego and not from any expectations from Jesus.   

It is always true that what keeps us away from single minded attentiveness to holy presence is our bent to listening to our ego as it tells us about the good and necessary things which need doing.  The truth is a moment of holy presence requires no activity, work, or welcoming preparation.  As much as every fiber of our being rebels at the idea, there are those moments when doing nothing but sitting in the silence is the only appropriate thing to do.  The image of the single minded attentiveness of Mary is what Jesus pointed out as the "better part."  (Luke 10:41)       

What do we do when heaven breaks into our part of the earth?  What do we do when holy presence invades what is perceived to be the ordinary moments of our life?  What do we do when Jesus shows up in the place where we are living?  We can listen to the voice of our ego which will speak the practical, logical, common sense word, or we can do the radical thing and let everything go so that our body, soul, and spirit is focused in a moment of single minded attentiveness on Jesus.